Who's the hero?

I have just found out that I have been selected as KRLD's Community Hero of the Week. They are going to spotlight me and this blog on Friday, May 15. If you're in the DFW area, you can listen to KRLD at AM1080. If not, you can hear it on their website, KRLD.com. I'm thrilled that this blog might get some attention - I really think that we who suffer from chronic pain should stick together and help each other out. While one of us is having a bad day, I'm sure another of us is having an okay day, and can lend strength. When we turn in crisis for help, we are not looking for someone to stop the pain (although that would be nice, we know it's not realistic), what we are looking for is understanding, a gentle hug, someone to say "you're not alone; I understand."

I am also so humbled that John nominated me for this honor. To me, he is the hero. All of those unsung caregivers who make independent life possible for disabled people should be spotlighted. He is an amazing man. He met me when I was quite sick, with an epidural and a central line in place. I was quite honest about my situation and the struggle that is life for me, and for those around me. Did he run in terror? Exactly the opposite, he chose me as his forever partner.

He knew that he would have extra chores: he would have to do all of the household work, and he would need to help me. But I don't know that anyone can be prepared for the emotional cost of caring for a loved one. He has to watch me be in horrific pain, and know that there is nothing that he can do to stop that pain. That must be so frustrating for him. And yet he nominates me as a hero?!! To me, he is the hero. Without him, I would not be able to care for myself. I cannot live alone, so but for John, I would have to find some sort of assisted living. I'm far too young for that!

I think the life of the caregiver is at least as hard as the life of the person in pain. To all of you, especially John, a truly heartfelt thank you!! Those words seem so small, and what I want to say is so big. But those are the only words I know to express my gratitude for all that you do. You do so much. You see, John feels frustrated (along with my mom certainly) that there is nothing that he can do for me when I am suffering. What he and my mom and others don't realize is that they do the most important thing for me, they love me. That alone helps make the pain bearable. A gentle hug, some kind, loving words, that's what I need MOST when I'm having a bad day. I know that they cannot take away my pain, and so I don't expect them to. Hearing that they want to is what means the world to me.

Here's to caregivers - Thank You!